കണാരന്റെ ആത്മഗതം!

നാട് – ദൈവത്തിന്റെ (ഇത് കുറെയുണ്ടല്ലോ!)

ദൈവം – നാട്ടുകാരുടെ (ആണോ? അതോ അല്ലെ? അല്ല, ചിലര്ക്കൊന്നും വേണ്ടാന്ന് പറയുന്നത് കേൾക്കുന്നുണ്ട്!)

അപ്പൊ അമ്പലം? അത് മിച്ചഭൂമി ആയിരിക്കും! അല്ലേ? ദൈവത്തിനു സ്വന്തമായിട്ട് കുറെ സ്ഥലമുണ്ടല്ലോ. അപ്പൊ കുറെയൊക്കെ മിച്ചഭൂമിയായിട്ടു കണക്കാക്കാം അല്ലെ?

അപ്പൊ ഏമാന്മാരുടെ സ്ഥലമോ? ഓ, അതൊന്നുമില്ലാന്നേ! ചുമ്മാ നാട്ടുകാര് പറയുന്നതാ. ഞങ്ങളൊക്കെ പാവം ശമ്പളക്കാരല്ലേ!

ശമ്പളം? – അത് നാട്ടുകാരല്ലേ തരുന്നത്? അതിനു പണിയെടുത്തോ? അത് ചോദിക്കാമോ? അമ്പമ്പോ!!!

ആ അങ്ങനെയങ്ങനെ ചോദ്യവും ഉത്തരവുമൊക്കെയായി നാട്ടുകാരെ വെള്ളം കുറെ കുടിപ്പിച്ചു വയസ്സ് 62 ആയി!

ഉവ്വോ? വെറുതെയല്ല വഴിയെല്ലാം കുഴിയായതു! പ്രായമൊക്കെ ആയില്ലേ.. അപ്പൊ വിരമിക്കൽ ഒന്നും ബാധകമല്ലേ? പെൻഷൻ തരാം!

ഓ, അതൊക്കെ വല്യ ബുദ്ധിമുട്ടാവില്ലെ! ഇതിപ്പോ ഇങ്ങനെ തന്നെ പോട്ടെന്നേ! നാട്ടുകാരൊക്കെ അഡ്ജസ്റ്റ് ചെയ്തോളും. അവര് തമ്മിലടികൂടുമ്പോ അവർക്കിതൊക്കെ അന്വേഷിക്കാൻ എവിടാ സമയം? ഇനി സമയം കിട്ടിയാത്തന്നെ ഇടികൂടാൻ പഴയ പുതിയ വിഷയങ്ങളല്ലേ കിടക്കുന്നെ – അങ്ങ് അയ്യപ്പസ്വാമി തൊട്ട് ഇങ്ങു മുല്ലപ്പെരിയാർ വരെ എന്തൊക്കെയുണ്ട്! പോരാത്തതിന് സോളാർ, സരിത, പീഡനം, കോഴ, ജാതി, അടിച്ചുമാറ്റൽ, വകയിരുത്തൽ, ഗുണ്ടായിസം അങ്ങനെയങ്ങനെ …. അപ്പൊ പിന്നെ കാണാം സപ്തതിക്കുള്ള ഒരുക്കം തുടങ്ങട്ടെ!

You don’t need a language to communicate!

I learned this crucial lesson when I was in Bangalore for a year searching for IT jobs with my commerce degree and unquenchable thirst to explore Information Technology. I stayed with my aunt in Bangalore for a month and joined a training center where they taught AS 400 which was supposedly the most in thing during those times. The millennium was inching in and I was struggling to devour the IBM language which was being taught by someone who was hardly inclined towards teaching and had no clue how to apply what he was teaching! Well, that’s another story altogether.

 

Coming back to the main story, after a month’s stay with my aunt, I moved into a PG accommodation very close to her house. This was my very first time staying outside my family and the idea was to get independent. I was to stay there, complete that course and get myself an IT job! We found this place after visiting quite a few PGs and hostels across the city. They were either too expensive or too cramped up. I even saw a hostel with bunker beds. That was a shocker because the place was dingy, rooms were already cramped up with so many bunker beds and the inmates had to manage with a few common bathrooms! Somehow, the last one I visited interested me because they had only 2 rooms and 3 inmates till then. By the time I left, we had 7 inmates there. The family was staying downstairs and the aunty cooked food for them and us together in our kitchen. They were very pleasant and I moved in the next day.

 

I had a Tamil roommate which made things easier for me. I was quite naïve back then. I was just 22 and had recently graduated. I had 4-5 months’ work experience wherein I was the youngest staff and was quite protected by the seniors. So far life had been quite amazing with like-minded people around. I had two reasons for leaving all that behind and coming to Bangalore to struggle. One was what I mentioned above and the other, well, yet another story!

 

In the first month of being in Bangalore, I learned some basics of Kannada language from my aunty who was settled there for decades by then. I could handle Malayalam, Tamil, Hindi and English quite well. Learning the 5th language at the age of 22 was not as simple. But I learned the very basic words – Alle (there), Ille (here), Kannada Gothilla (don’t know Kannada) and Beku (want). The 3rd one was most important because that would save me from the rest of Kannada.

 

At most of the places I went and interacted, I managed to capture some more words in Kannada which I felt was much similar to the old Malayalam I have read in text books and movies. With a little Tamil and Hindi, commuting was quite easy. I realized the need to learn Kannada after I moved into the PG. The rest of the inmates knew Kannada quite well. The aunty who run the PG was a Kannadiga and she knew no other language! The uncle spoke Tamil well and could converse in English also. They had two children, one of whom was in school and the other around my age. They both understood English and Hindi.

 

Initially, I spent most of my time at the PG. After the classes I would be home. I never had the habit of roaming around unnecessarily. So, I used to remain in my room reading a book or listening to songs (I had a Walkman and those were the times of cassettes) after the classes. The aunty used to feel bad that I sat home almost whole day and so she would try to give me company. That was the beauty! She knew only Kannada and I was only picking up some words. Their children came to my rescue often, but naughty as they were, I had to still cross-check with other PG roommates before I could register the Kannada word-meanings in my mind permanently.

 

In a month’s time, I could understand almost everything that aunty said. She would still converse in Kannada and I would in English and Tamil! What a bonding that was!!! She used to feel that it was her responsibility to take care of us who were away from home. It’s been 18 years since then. She’s a darling and used to take care of all of us so well. I still am very much in touch with her daughter and visit them every time I visit Bangalore. She still asks me whether I have learned Kannada! I only know whatever little I have learned from her. I can understand the language to some extent. But still can’t speak it.

 

She even took us all out for eating out and we won’t forget the Hindi movie we all watched together to celebrate Diwali. She didn’t understand much but most of us wanted to watch the multi-starrer by Suraj Barjatia which released that year! We have celebrated the millennium together, roaming around late at night, escorted by the uncle and his son! For all these, our dear aunty would lead the pack. She always used to ask why I would spend my evenings quietly listening to music and roaming on the open terrace. She would make my favourite Chocolate Tea which would quickly dissolve all the worries we ever had in our mind. She’s such a darling!

 

And I made an amazing friend there, my roommate, a Kannadiga Ph. D. doctor. We used to call her Madamji! She heads the Chemistry department in her college now. She’s been a great guide and confidante. She used to help me through the other parts of my story while in Bangalore and later. A true friend that she is, used to be very patient with me. Again, she also spoke to me with her broken English and Hindi back then. She was struggling for a job after her Ph. D and here I was expecting something positive to happen in my career with just a B. Com! I have learned a lot of Kannada from her also. I used to love the Senga powder and Dharwad Peda she used to bring from home.

 

Through the 10+ months in Bangalore, I have never felt the need to talk in Kannada all the while. The auto-people used to understand Tamil and Hindi if not English. Most of the places I went searching for jobs, I managed with English and Hindi. In a few places, I even got a couple of Malayali people. Finally, in our PG, one more Malayali girl came and completed the picture.

 

Bangalore taught me that Language cannot be a barrier for communication! Love can break all those barriers and build an understanding above everything. And the best part is that we are still in touch.

Things that never were …

She’s mourning,

a baby that was never born

a love that never was

a story that was never written

a beauty that was never seen

a truth that never came to light

realities that were never acknowledged

voices that were never heard

happiness that was nothing but

songs that were never sung

She’s mourning

people who were never hers

relations that were never true

lives that were hardly lived

love that was hardly loved!

She’s still mourning

a life that goes on

changes that don’t make sense anymore

She’s mourning

but no one noticed!

Tomorrow morning,

She’ll wake up to the usual happy self as always

And mourn it as the day ends!

 

 

She went insane!

She looked around if anyone was watching

She dug a pit deep enough

To bury her dreams, budding and blossoming

Unsure, if they would root and sprout

She set them ablaze and then filled the pit

She filled it with the hardest of rocks

So, they wouldn’t even try,

To uncover the mud and peek out

But the roots were strong within her mind

She couldn’t uproot them fully

The little of whatever was left

Bloomed and blossomed over and again

She even built a cage

To keep her heart locked and safe

From fresher thoughts and false promises

To keep giving life to her dreams and wishes

She so dearly wanted to kill

She went insane, she went in a loop,

Of digging pits and burying her dreams!

 

Can writing be your second career?

“Am ready to restart and I want to try out content writing, how do I start?” I get many messages like this quite often. Let me ask you some questions before I answer yours:

  • Do you plan to take it up full time?
  • Do you have a blog?
  • Do you have ideas as to what to write on?
  • Are you prepared to spend long hours researching?
  • Did you Google the prospects of writing as a career?
  • Are there courses available?
  • Does it really pay?

 

These are just a few questions that popped up in my mind before I took up writing as a career. To be frank, I never thought of writing as a full-time career until I realized its potential. That happened after I decided to try it out of curiosity! Those times, around 10 years before, we didn’t have active communities online to seek help on whatever few opportunities we could find. It was always a risk but writing involved no investments other than time. But there was learning involved and that’s what attracted me more.

 

These days, there’s enough and more information available online regarding writing as a career so if you plan to take it up, please do your research first. Here are my answers to the above-mentioned questions:

 

Full time or part-time?

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If you are already working, you can still consider writing as a part-time job. But remember, if it’s a job, it comes with commitments. Writing as a profession requires a lot of research (read time and effort). From my experience, even if the topic is familiar and sounds simple, as you start writing, you may find it more exuberating to research than to write. That is if you intend to add value to your writing instead of rewriting what you find online. Remember, if its already available online, you rewriting it will not make any difference. You may get paid, but does it add value to your experience? Eventually,  the employer will realize it and get someone better.

To me, it never made sense and hence, I spend a lot of time researching than on writing. So, if you plan to take writing as a part-time option, check if you will be able to spend enough time to add value to what you write. For those who say I can spend 2-3 hours a day for writing, well, good for you if you make it a career!

 

Blogging

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Whether you have a blog or not does not make much difference! It makes things easier when you are looking for samples to showcase on your profile as you take up writing professionally. So, if you are looking to restart as a writer, please start blogging now! As you start blogging, you will learn a lot about what people like to read, whether you are able to engage them enough, are you really able to write out the ideas in your mind etc. When you have time, research, when you have more time, write! That’s what ultimately helps.

 

And remember, blogging is totally different from writing as a profession. When you write for organizations, they have a set of requirements which you have to meet. The deadlines, quality, topics, keywords, SEO, and a lot more come into the picture! Do keep that in mind! That’s why I mentioned, it really doesn’t make much difference when you take up writing as a profession.

 

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If you intend to impress your prospective employers and audience with your blogs, make sure you use the free or paid tools available online to check spelling, grammar, and plagiarism. You may be well-experienced, but it never hurts to have your writing checked to be double sure! I run all my content through Gingerly/Grammarly and a Plagiarism checker before I submit.

 

Can you ideate?

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When you are blogging, you will realize that after the initial few blogs, ideation becomes the biggest challenge. What do you write upon? That’s a million-dollar question!!! For personal blogs, you can write on whatever you find is interesting. But when it comes to professional writing, your ideas have to align with your organization’s goals. That’s where research helps!

 

Research – You cannot do without!

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If you plan to take up writing as a profession, you will have to spend a considerable amount of time to research. In fact, 80% of my time on each project goes on research, 15% on writing and 5% on editing. Research should start before you even consider writing as a career! That’s how you learn. If you do not have that zest, I would recommend not to take up writing at all professionally.

 

Did you Google?

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Well, if you found my article from Google, you are on the right path! Otherwise, you have to read this as “Google and help yourself please!”. As I mentioned earlier, there’s enough and more available online to help you start. Even if you don’t have experience writing, you can start blogging and create those samples and publish them. You can share them when your prospective employer asks for samples. They only want to know how skilled you are, especially your language skills.

 

Are there courses that teach writing?

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You may join language classes to perfect your grammar. There are courses that offer you training on different types of writing. They also may familiarize you on some tools used to ensure better writing quality. There are paid courses, free internships and low-paid assignments you can bag online. Again, the keyword is Research! As for me, I took up low-paid assignments and learned on the job. That’s why I mentioned earlier, it was a learning process for me that turned into a full-time profession.

 

The golden question – Does it really pay?

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Yeah, for many, it all boils down to this golden question – Pay! It definitely does, depending upon what you have to give. It’s like what you have learned during your basic computer classes – Garbage In, Garbage Out! If your content has that quality, adds value to the organization and if you can offer a variety in writing in terms of styles and topics, it pays decently well. Writing is definitely a career to consider full-time if you have the veracity and can put in the time and effort it demands.